What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Today Madeline and Cynthia explore that dreadful word, ”should”. Taking a look at how this plays out in our lives.

The “should” is likely generated by the mind in its rational wisdom. The underlying feelings are held by the body. How often do we ignore or completely dismiss them and do what we “should”?

Each time we do that, we tell our Self that we’re not important (or at least not as important as the thing we “should” do). Each time we disconnect a little more from our authentic Self. We give away our authentic power.

In today's conversation, we explore the meaning behind "should" and discover what we CAN leave behind.

What we discussed:

(01:06) Introduction: That word that pops up this time of year

(03:01) The RAIN Technique

(05:45) Letting your thoughts come and go

(07:42) The job of emotions

(08:48) Internal vs. external pressure

(14:24) Who is in the driver's seat?

(16:20) "Should" as a motivator

(18:41) Stories we tell ourselves

(20:41) Putting things through the internal filter

(22:31) Bringing it all together

(24:22) Ending with a quote

(25:06) Closing notes

For further reading and tools:

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

- The RAIN Technique by Tara Brach

- Emotions as information - which is not always accurate!

- Letting thoughts come and go, but not inviting for tea

More resources to explore this topic:

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know by Grant, Adam

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Neff, Kristin, Ph.D.

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown

RAIN Technique by Tara Brach

Brene Brown (Rising Strong)

When you find that you’re having a line of thoughts that may or may not be true and you want to confront this in an unaggressive kind way, do the following:

Take a deep breath and find 10 seconds of kindness.
Say “The story I’m telling myself…” and finish with a worry or a fear.
Then, say nothing. And have a (hopefully productive) dialogue with yourself.

Quote for reflection:

“STOP shoulding all over self, instead embrace curiosity and release judgement to make choices that enrich your life and feed your soul”

“Leave your door open for thoughts and emotions, just don’t invite them to tea”

Want to get in touch?

Email us at podcast@knomii.coach to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions.

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn.

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin.

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC Host

Madeline Farquharson Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 11/07/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 25 min

Episode 7